Turning Blu

In my humble estimation, no one has taken as much bullshit from U4Prez as Bluproject. What is said in PM stays in PM, so he need not worry about any pillow talk he and I shared, nothing specific he ever said to me will be part of this post. Unlike some readers of this blog who use PM's for political advantage--and not only do you know who you are, everyone else does--I am not a snitch. Everything in this article is already in the public domain.

I am not at all trying to downplay the suffering of others. I know kt2020's had a rough go of things all around. TheWiz has become the Hard Right's favorite whipping boy, as he is often seen to be the official U4Prez spokesman of Olivia. HAK has had to take a lot of crap, but I have always given him credit for standing up for himself, for never lowering himself to the level of those who dogpile him. Copulate gets a lot of shit, but then again, Copulate gives as good as he gets.

No one, though, has quietly dealt with more crap, has been hurt more times by the elite of U4Prez--including me--and no one has dealt with it with such a quiet demeanor has Bluproject. Someone needs to say something about him, so here goes.

Blu and I started at about the same time. We were part of a group that started on March 16th, give or take a day. Think about this list. Bluproject. OliviaLLC. Elected_Al. kt2020. Demopublic. That is a strong line-up, I don't care what anyone says, and we all started within hours of one another. Ever since then, there has been an unspoken, maybe even unrealized, bond between us all, and I think the five of us have interacted with one another with a certain closeness. Blu and kt2020 are friends in real life and both live in McHenry, Illinois, but Al is in Jersey, I'm in Arizona, and I'm not sure about Demopublic.

This is a lineup that includes at least two primary winners and three definite contenders. Everyone has U4Prez leadership experience, almost all of us have started our own groups and have been active in others. Two were in the influential Liberty Caucus. Three were or are party leaders, elected to those positions by their peers. This is a strong group.

This article, although it will include other members of this clique, is about how I see Bluproject.


He and I hit it off quickly, and he was probably the first candidate to actaully say Hi to me. We were new and trying to figure this out, and we bonded immediately. We confessed a few things to one another which are now common knowledge, him being gay, me and my bisexuality, among other things.

What I saw in him right away way his eagerness to please others. He was always excited to chat, and as we started brainstorming ideas as to how we were going to take U4Prez by storm, he really wanted to work with me. Within a month, however, he was starting up the Gay-Straight Alliance, and I was putting together the League of Female Candidates. We started putting together names for ourselves, and among us, a small but strong pool of leftwing candidates started to form. We were part of this mix. U4Prez was maybe two months old, tops. It was a blank slate. We were having fun.

I think it was in mid-April that I was starting to get too big for my britches. It would still be months before Independents would get a sniff of the primaries, so it was enigmatic at best as to who the real powerplayers were among the Indies. I was pretty popular, not only for my pretty audacious platform (which included teasing details about how a prostitute would have made a better president than the tool currently in charge), but because I was already getting a reputation for having a loud mouth and not being afraid to use it, especially against the Liberty Caucus. I was on the upswing without a way to truly gauge it.

Bluproject, being a Democrat, was already in the thick of things with the run-offs. He had proven himself to be a strong candidate, willing to create coalitions and work with others. He deserved the attention. He was one of the only pure souls at U4Prez at that time, and I would couple him with the likes of Tony4Prez and CHASE as candidates who were genuinely good guys, eager, never a harsh word to say about anyone.

I think I was the one to change that in him.


That primary cycle, Blu was pitted against Elected_Al. That was a tough call. Two up-and-coming Democrats, two positive candidates, both gaining a reputation for being coalition builders and reaching across the aisle to work with others. And here is Olivia, part of this Ides of March clique, wanting to take my popularity out for a spin and see what I could do with it.


I don't know if I was the first to publicly endorse a candidate, but in typical Olivia fashion, I was the first to make sure everyone knew I was making such an endorsement. I wrote a press release, being very cordial to both of them, talking them both up as the strong candidates they are. At that time, I felt Al might have been just a bit stronger, and the fact that Al had mentioned me in a recent video certainly stroked my ego. I endorsed Al and wished the best for both candidates.


I haven't endorsed a Democrat since. I had no idea Blu would be so hurt by what I did. At first I thought, maybe I made the right move, because Blu started to really distance himself from me quickly, rarely saying a word to me. I thought he would be disappointed, but not like this. I took his actions as immature and unprofessional, and they validated my endorsement.


I don't remember who won that primary, I think Blu won anyway. What I remember most about that event is the heartbreak he described to me. Blu wears his emotions on his sleeve, anyone who knows him at all knows this. He is fiercely loyal, and it hurts him when others do not reciprocate. Were the roles reversed, he would have endorsed me, I truly believe that, not because I am at all a better candidate than Al, but because I was his friend.


Not long after that, Blu joined the Axis of Evil, commonly known at U4Prez as the Liberty Caucus. I had already had members confide in me about the way Kempite runs his show, about how sick they were with being bullied behind closed doors, about how his buddies would browbeat the more liberal elements, how the concept of bipartisanship was for show alone, and how the token leftwingers were there to merely rubberstamp anything the leader of the Liberty Caucus--and the future handpicked President of U4Prez for 2007--wanted to accomplish. Whatever happens in the LC stays in the LC. I'm sure someone said the same thing to Lynndie England, whatever happens at Abu Ghraib stays at Abu Ghraib.


And, sure as shit, I come onto U4Prez, I'd see Blu and Kemp on at the same time, and Kemp is badgering the daylights out of him, calling him a liberal faggot and berating him right out in public. It hurt me to watch it. It happened about a dozen times, from April to early June, where I would see Kempite just slap Blu around, and Blu take it. Occasionally he would try to retaliate about Kempite being a frustrated fag, or something to that effect, but by and large, Kempite let everyone know, out in the open, that Blu was his bitch.


It broke my heart to watch this. Blu is not built for hand-to-hand combat. Blu is built for patching you up after the fact. This was the price he was paying to be with the perceived Big Boys, to be their token liberal, their rubberstamping Democrat. What the fuck are Blu and Hawk doing in the same group, people? Was I the only one thinking there was something very wrong about this?


It got worse. Not only was Kempite skullfucking Blu out in the open for all to witness, when I would get into it with Kempite, and God know I have, Blu would defend KEMPITE! Blu was fierce. There would be times, like when I talk about the Liberty Caucus, there would be Mduminiak and Iron Lady and BigDaddy and Hawk, doing their best freeper garbage, with me shoving it right back in their faces, and here would come Blu, trying to undercut me. Here I am, making the case that the Hard Right doesn't play fair and will resort to gang violence at the drop of a hat, and Blu chimes in with me having a problem with someone defending their friends, and that friendship is something I would have no idea about.


From the rest of the Hard Right, those are just words, they don't have souls, and you have to have a soul before you can start talking about concepts like friendship. Blu, though, Blu has a soul, one of the greatest souls here, and for him to say that to me, from his mouth, it hit harder than if a dozen Hard Right losers were actually making sense.


I sucked it up, thinking, I know he is still hurt, and maybe he will always be. I've learned the hard way, you can do the worst things to people right in front of them, and if you're honest about it, you can even be respected for it. But if you slight someone, and you do it out of the blue and behind their back, they will hate you for the rest of your life. I didn't think the endorsement was so serious a thing to take, but then again, I wasn't the one who was slighted. It's real easy for me to not take it so serious, I wasn't the one hurt by it. I never considered it betrayal, but for someone who was a fiercely loyal as Blu was, I guess it was. Kempite could treat Blu like his furry little bitch in broad daylight, and depending how you look at it--surely it's how Blu looked at it--that was more honest than being stabbed in the back by an endorsement forAl.


After he did that a couple of times, I pulled him off to the side, trying to be the kind of friend that actually tells someone she loves when he is acting like a complete asshole, and told him to knock it off. I had to do that a couple of times, and each time he gave me a frustrated apology. I went after another member of the LC, and sure enough, Blu would try to roll me under the bus again.


This is why I say Blu has had to deal with more crap on this board than anyone else. He is in the position of having to defend brutes like Kempite and Mduminiak and Hawk, and to let them browbeat the bejesus out of him relentlessly in public, against Olivia's solo assaults, this Olivia he loved and I know he still loved. It must have hurt him to have to call me out in front of them, knowing I knew him, knowing he was in a no-win situation. That slight with the endorsement hurt him bad. And the LC was all too willing to take advantage of it. They were willing to use that loyalty for their own gain, no matter how much it hurt Blu. They really don't give a damn about you, especially if you're left of center. Unless you are specifically there to fellate Kempite and his buddies, there is no reason for a Democrat to be on the Liberty Caucus.


I pulled him over one last time, and told him if he ever did it again, that was it. Of course, he did it again, and I told him, just like I told Eric Gurr two weeks ago, his Olivia privileges had been terminated.


I put out the Bitch video, and Blu left a comment that is still there, that I am bagging on candidates who just want to defend each other from the big bad bully, that one-woman wrecking crew, that cunt Olivia, what do I know about friendship? It didn't sting so much by then.


Within a week thereafter, Bluproject resigned from the Liberty Caucus, and I welcomed him home. THAT is what friendship is, loving someone enough to wait for him to return to his senses, and when he does, have your arms wide open for him. It's not asskissing, it's not defending the indefensible, it's not being blind to what a "friend" does and encouraging it when you know it's hurting you and violates every principle you stand for. It's waiting for him to come back around, back to himself. It's not holding grudges. It's waiting for that apology to come, the heartfelt one, the one you know he is capable of, not the hurried SORRY to get you off his back, but the real one, and accepting it without condition.


Fuck you, Kempite, for what you did to Bluproject! The most loyal soul, the fiercest brother in arms, the one most likely to take a bullet for you, and you treated him like garbage! You treat EVERYONE like garbage! And when they stop kissing your ass, and when they stop taking your shit, and when you have used them as yes-men, punching bags, rubber stamps, emotional tampons, bathroom tissue, you conveniently toss the leftover empty husk away.

And fuck you too, Olivia! You had a chance to slow real loyalty to a friend, and your vanity got in the way. One was stroking your ego a little more than the other, so you went with flattery instead of loyalty. Quite possibly, no one in the U4Prez galaxy loved you more than Bluproject, what would it have hurt to endorse HIM?

The last time we talked, it was on amiable terms. I haven't spoken to him since I left. If he is still in the know around U4Prez, he'll know how to get a private hold of me if he wishes.

Despite all my bluster and cockiness, despite me being so sure about my big mouth and believing the positions I take are correct, I do have a couple of regrets. This is one. Not that I would have acted differently, I would never rescind my endorsement of Al. Since that primary, Al and me, we've developed a deep respect for one another, and when the bullshit at U4Prez was getting to be too much for both of us, we came to be able to confide in one another. Had I to do it over again, I might not have plastered it all over every comment board all day long. I probably would have done what I see candidates do now, just say, hey Al, I voted for you, and left it at that.

No one has had to deal with more crap on U4Prez than Blu, and I should know. Although it was never my intention to do so, I hurt him and turned him to the Dark Side, where they were all too eager to use his faithfulness for their sordid pleasure.

And as long as I am in the U4Prez sphere, I will never forgive myself for this. I have a soul.