Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Last Will and Testament

(NOTE: Up until about two minutes ago, I still had strong yearnings to not do this. After reading the comments from the last article and the fairly childish argument that the recently-elected president at U4Prez was having with one of its most adolescent and, not coincidental, popular candidates, I am convinced I have to do this. Sorry, Wiz.)

Wherever you are, welcome. Call me X, a member of the U4Prez community, and once and for all, I am laying Olivia, a persona I had been developing for over a decade, to rest. Not to give too much away, but I know some at U4Prez would rather chase your tails over who Olivia really is instead of promote democracy or talk politics, so I will leave this a mystery for the elites to opine. I will say this, I am a male, which means when Copulate was coming onto me a few months ago, he was coming onto a dude. I still have his number, maybe I should test it. Also, when he is musing over whether Olivia takes it up the ass, he was verbally pleasuring himself over a man's hairy butt. Hey, U4Prez, you all decided THIS is what you wanted for conversation, instead of intelligence and integrity, you chose Copulate. Don't blame anyone but yourselves for letting him drag you to the gutter with him.

Instead of going on concerning the birth and development of Olivia, or any sort of apologies for creating her and making her an apparently believable hoax, let me jump right into it with bullet points.

For instance, I am terminating Olivia, not because she was found out, but because maintaining her as a viable entity is taking much of my time and energy. There are always individuals who suspected she was a fraud, but over time I’ve learned all sorts of Jedi mind tricks to make such individuals fade in their desire to pursue the matter further. My own persistence kept her going, and as such I’ve learned anyone who suspected her to be false better have more than a suspicion, or else I would run them around in circles. At U4Prez, I have every reason to believe I could have maintained Olivia indefinitely, no matter the amount of heat taken, even if the villagers had taken up torches and pitchforks and stormed the countryside.

Why now? Because I let it slip. Going back and forth from Olivia to X, I ended up with X’s profile and Olivia speaking. It was a slip certainly someone must have picked up, though at this writing it appears no one did. Maybe the slip was accidental, but I’m more inclined to believe it was subconscious, that I slipped in order to force myself into this. Perhaps this was my subconscience’s was of telling me, it’s time to end this. So I ended up sabotaging her, hence sabotaging X, my own very real campaign based on myself. By destroying them both, it takes me away from U4Prez altogether, neat and clean, snip snip, it’s done.

In other words, this is my choice. It’s not because anyone found me out, no one cornered me. No one corners Olivia. She may have her haters, but as I said, she fights the good fight. Any criticism brought up is nothing we haven’t heard in the past. As much as I want to stick around and continue to fight the good fight, even with Demo’s latest proposal, I’m not falling for it. This fight was already fought, Copulate lost, and goading me into more of it is proof that they are losers who would rather use the U4Prez world as their ‘hood, extending fights they lost a long time ago because apparently that’s all U4Prez is to them. If that’s all this is to you guys, go for it. Even as a whore and a self-exposed hoax, Olivia has more integrity than that.

Demo made an ultimatum to Olivia last night, to confront Copulate about something he chickened out of twice previously. I was starting to set up a show on BlogTalkRadio, and I would read all this out loud, and send Olivia out with a bang. I woke up this morning, thinking how a show would go. But I realized, this is all pretty stupid. Copulate is too chickenshit to stand up to me, so he gets Demo to do it? Apparently Olivia is somehow a coward because she stood up to Copulate, watch him vacillate all over himself TWICE, and she has enough sense to let him just twist in the wind? Copulate had his chance, and like a punk who gets his ass handed to him, he jumps up after the fact and starts talking shit again. Anyone who supports him, quite frankly, is condoning this kind of behavior and is an accomplice. I mean this. The best way to shut Copulate up is to withdraw your support. Judging by his rating, it’s apparent the U4Prez community would rather vote for a shittalking backstabber than for someone of quality, someone with no virtue except being obnoxious instead of someone with integrity, someone who can debates like a freeper in the worst sense than someone who debates with professionalism. There are 800 Republicans on the board, and U4Prez thinks he’s one of the best? Maybe Olivia picked a good time to jump off the wagon, if THIS is their concept of a solid candidate.

This is what would have happened. Olivia would have blown them off, per usual. Copulate, with renewed keyboard courage, would have talked shit, because that’s all he has to offer, everyone who knows that’s all he does will have said, yeah, whatever, and life would have resumed, Olivia unscathed. Olivia has dealt with nine months of negativity, what's a few days more?

And after I dismantled Demo, Copulate, and the latest swarm of thugs, what’s next? There’s always going to be a new set of goons. Last year it was the Hard Right. Now it’s this nameless gang of thugs, I was going to call them the Saggy Middle in honor of BigDaddy. In a couple of months, I take on a new gang, and another one, always victorious, always at the top of the hill, but this game takes a lot of time and energy I no longer have the ability to maintain. Lord knows I want to, but I am pulling this plug and sending Olivia to her death, because, at the end of the day, it’s all dust in the wind. I feel for the next candidate they try to burn in effigy. But I have to do this. As entertaining it is to watch a prostitute run circles around the U4Prez elite, this has to stop, with Olivia on top, once and for all, no more fecal matter slung, no more endless extensions of an argument that was stupid in the first place. If the candidates at U4Prez can’t look at the record for themselves, there’s not much more anyone could do, vocal or otherwise.

The hope was actually to dissolve Olivia, and by the time she faded, X would be up and running and with a degree of gravitas. It was working—within a week X was getting into conversations and debates and even calling in on talk shows. I was thinking about putting together my own show, do a few videos, and pretty much have X in a great position to take over when Olivia’s plug was pulled.

Oh, well.

Originally, I actually wanted to leave in August for good, when you all watched Olivia flame out. When that happened, and I presented Kiss & Tell, I was convinced, after two or three angry posts, I would be ignored, and that would be that. I had no idea Eric Gurr would be scolded by his corporate masters, that the “Hard Right” would buckle and break up and become dust, that the blog would become such a part of U4Prez, and that Olivia would gain just as large a status being a disgruntled bitch as a candidate.

Again, I pulled the plug in September, thinking I would never come back, and I stayed away from the place, thinking six weeks of cold turkey would cure me. But I peeked back in, guilty of curiosity, and before I knew it, Olivia was back in, with apparently only BigDaddy giving her a hard time. Faustus won the presidency, but I thoroughly believe, had Olivia come back two weeks before, putting together a strenuous and vocal campaign, she would have won as a write-in. Or at least better than Musicman.

At U4Prez I realized two things. First, Olivia was taken seriously, and though I could keep the charade up for as long as I wanted to, the fact that she was so welcome therein was shocking. And second, there were limits to what she could do, even though she made every effort to overcome those limits. The fact that a candidate who never spoke a word could create such bedlam at a place where the spoken word was becoming more and more important truly surprised me. I’m sure I could have found someone to play Olivia’s voice, and thereby keeping the hoax going. But there was never a need for Olivia to be heard. Through today, there is still no need for Olivia to be audibly heard in order for her to have merit.

The slip, whether anyone caught it or not, is evidence that I need to end this, this is ridiculous. I probably could have glossed over it, I don’t know who noticed, but I did, and that was enough.

The smartest candidate ever at U4Prez was Catbus, not just because he is a liberal genius who truly cared about people, and not because he put conservatives to shame with fact instead of conjecture, but because he knew how engrossing this is. To put up with the abuse any liberal takes from conservatives on a message board is bad enough, especially when you don’t make a dime from it. But to get so deep into it that it consumes you, that’s something else. After a couple months, he realized it was sucking his time up, so he left, a quick paragraph on his profile, and never came back.

I’m not going to sit here and say GOTCHA. Every one bought her. I know BigDaddy and Copulate and many others are going to say they were onto this all along. But all of you bought the hoax, every one of you. There may be one or two who suspected here and there, but no great push was made to ever expose the hoax.

As much as some might want me to apologize, quite frankly, the only one I should apologize to is TheWiz. For the most part, Olivia was met with a great deal of respect from many, but more than any other candidate, Olivia absorbed a lot of abuse, and I defy anyone to name me a candidate who took as much as her. From day one she was scorned for her profession by such paragons of virtue as Hawk. Her “honesty” concerning abortion, something you don’t ever see on a board like this, was met with the kind of stone-throwing that would make a right-to-lifer picketing a Planned Parenthood proud. Anything she revealed about herself was used against her. More than any other candidate, what she allegedly did off U4Prez was made front-page news here, and not all of it was to her liking. What other candidate here had her MySpace rummaged for quotes? What other candidate had nearly TWENTY negative videos made about her? What other candidate received sexual slurs like she did? You all said things to her you know damn well you would never say in public, I guess the keyboard courage was running high with you all. I am so thoroughly impressed with just how crude, annoying, disrespectful, and downright thuggish many of you can be. I listened sometimes to the talk shows, for as much trash talk you throw around therein, you all are downright gentlemanly there compared to the boards at U4Prez.

Before you start with, we never did that, well, yes, you did. You, collectively. There were many individuals who were kind and intelligent and even professional. But there were many more who would say the meanest fucking things they could think of, and they would say them to her, I can only fathom why. Keyboard courage, I guess. As the internet allows me to create an identity out of the ether, so it also allows others to let their inhibitions run wild. Freud and Jung would have a field day on a message board.

Olivia is no victim, hell no. She gave far better than she got. She never started an argument, but she finished them all. She kicked ass and took names. She put herself on the line a lot, and in most cases she was chastised for it in the present, but in time many saw what she was trying to do. She forced you to have an opinion of her, and from my point of view, Olivia was applauded just as much as she was demonized.

There were a few of you she would considered friend, and I welcomed the chance to phase Olivia out and install X and get you to know me instead of her. It’s far easier to befriend someone who looks like Olivia. No one claims to be superficial until a pretty face comes along. It was strange to have kt2020 greet X as a newbie, when Olivia had known her since March. Some admitted having crushes on Olivia, and it was strange talking to them, knowing this. In my warped mind, Olivia and I are separate people, so the pronoun I gets bandied around a lot in my head. For those who respected Olivia, I was very jealous and wanted to be respected just as easily.

How much of me is in Olivia? My belief that democracy is more than just counting votes is part. The idea that American politics had gotten adolescent and that partisan politics borders the absurd, that’s something we shared. The sense of activism, Olivia’s starting petitions and organizations and blogs and the Constitution, that’s something I wish I could do more often, and I’m jealous that she did. Disappointment that more people weren’t as eager to participate in anything other than partisan bickering. The belief that one person indeed could make a difference. That U4Prez is a microcosm of American democracy. These are all things Olivia stood for, in her words and deeds, that come from my own heart. In time, X would have taken this mantle over, but since both are dead, we mourn instead of continue.

I still maintain that U4Prez was a microcosm for American democracy. Was. I believe too many candidates really bought into the bad argument that Eric Gurr’s precious rights of ownership were being taken away by the candidates, and truly, there is a mechanism for producing such change. That change is the implementation of the kind of democracy liberals have praised and conservatives have railed against for years. By applying pressure to Gurr in his wallet, the candidates could—and still can—truly instill change within U4Prez. This is his baby, his million-dollar idea, but it’s like a football game, people come either to play or to watch those playing, no one comes to see the referees, or in this case, the moderators. The candidates were always the attraction, and if enough key candidates quit and encouraged others to do the same, U4Prez would slowly die. Going back to the bad business argument many made, you can have your little business, but if you have no customers because you insist on selling crap and refuse to listen to them when they complain, why bother?

U4Prez could have championed American democracy. Instead, it is a haven for the very worst American politics has to offer.

Eric Gurr knew this all along, that a few candidates were more important than others. Olivia was perfect in feeding this belief in him. Beautiful, cheeky, from a dark background, yet articulate, bright, and with a seemingly firm grasp on politics, she was his wet dream, figuratively speaking (I have to put a disclaimer like "figuratively speaking" in there, because BigDaddy doesn't know what it means to be tongue-in-cheek. You listen to him, you may actually think I said Gurr and Kempite were on a couch somewhere). Using Jedi mindtricks, I was able to keep him believing in Olivia, even when she wouldn’t return his calls. Yes, he did give his number, and regardless of his motives, it was to promote her over the rest.

As much as I believe the microcosm theory, I don’t know if I truly learned anything about American politics. If U4Prez is a parallel to the real thing, then we’re fucked as a country. Faustus put it best, in his 17-plus years in politics, U4Prez was the most brutal experience of his career. U4Prez is full of petty people who would love to be taken seriously, and they found a forum which rewards the lowest common denominator. The loser with nothing better to do, who spends 20 hours a day on that site, gets further than someone who is thoughtful and engaging and has things like a family and a job to attend to. Unless you are part of the entrenched elite, there is little chance of you getting anywhere. And unless you are a backstabbing shittalker, don’t expect to be noticed.

If this is a microcosm, then this much is true about American politics. It is far easier to be loyal to something than to be honest about it. Candidates don’t want their leaders to be honest, they merely want their side to win. Voters would rather be with a winner than vote for the best candidate possible. The left and the right not only need to find common ground, they can. The real threat to American politics does not come from the left or the right, but from those who would drive wedges between the two in the name of partisan allegiance. All candidates, real or simulated, talk in soundbites and talking points, not facts. To conservatives, the world began in 1970; to liberals, in 1932.

As to U4Prez itself, it’s a million-dollar idea run by an apathetic idiot. Gurr has no idea what kind of fortune has been plopped in his lap. Instead of trying to cash in as soon as possible, as he did last year, he needs to perfect his product. He had barely a thousand profiles last year when he started talking about reality TV. He needs to work on the step ahead of him before he starts the next. And he needs to LISTEN to those who are in the system. Any good businessman listens to his customers, and one would consider the rather childish claim many made concerning the Constitution, that it’s Eric’s toy and we should butt out, bad business.

Don’t let U4Prez turn into an elitist site. It’s already very cliquish, and many own up to this. You who have been there for a while, you have no idea the harm you’re doing to the place. You have already chased off probably hundreds of candidates who saw Copulate’s antics, or Olivia’s responses, or BigDaddy’s thuggish exploits, or the Hard Right’s gang politics, and said to themselves, this is not worth the aggravation.

Copulate is just cruel, and I started pushing Olivia away from him ever since the Hedrick thing, because he was a bastard and had nothing to offer except being a bastard. BigDaddy is actually an intelligent candidate, as I’ve heard him on the talk shows, he’s thoughtful and much more civilized. He doesn’t translate it very well to a message board, and that’s his biggest problem. But since the U4Prez world has expanded to include things like blogs and talk shows and videos, he fits in better. Olivia was too proud to ever let up on him. Me, I think he needs to stop playing GOTCHA games just to do it, because if he himself just opened up and stopped the bullshit, he could be a real contender. Instead, he is a clown, mostly because he doesn’t take himself serious enough.

U4Prez has some real problems. Copulate claims to have 41 profiles, which is more than 1% of all profiles ever created, and Gurr doesn’t lift a finger? There are fraudulent candidates left and right, everyone knows it, and those who have them don’t deny having them. The elite candidates are currently benefiting from a system that produces the same schedule every week, OF COURSE they’re going to defend it, they are benefiting from it. Healthy skepticism always takes a back seat to personal privilege. Change can only knock them off their cushy pedestals. It’s oligarchy.

I was thinking about exposing every dirty secret I knew, but that’s spite, and Olivia isn’t leaving because she was thrown out. There’s no reason to be angry. It was a slip. There is no resentment on our part, despite the very graphic things she dealt with. There is no one left to GET. No one ever GOT Olivia in any GOTCHA, although some will try to say otherwise, don’t believe them. It’s a trick. No one made me quit. I slipped, I did it, I am quitting because of my own doing.

Here are a few holes for the filling, though:

Chelsea was Smashey.

Bluproject and Olivia made up, and she hasn’t talked to him since.

Kempite, just before she left in August, apologized to Olivia, and it sounded more like a deathbed confession than an apology. That was when he and Copulate were at it over a PM concerning him having AIDS. He said he loved Olivia, to which she replied, in typical Olivia fashion, thanks, but you’re still a jerk.

Olivia was never any other candidate, despite the many conspiracy theories that circulated. She was not White Rose. She was not TheWiz. She did have an umbrella of profiles that everyone knew about, like the Antipartisan Pledge and the Women’s Leagues, but in terms of parading around in a profile disguise, no, Olivia never did that, and no, I didn’t, either. Actually, I take that back, I ran the Archie B. profile, which several candidates already know, just as they must know other celebrity profiles are false. Anyway, the point is, there are no surprises in this regard.

I truly believed the fix was in, and the fact that Kiss & Tell took off as it did, and that people reacted and moved in ways, was evidence there was something fishy going on.

If the Constitution failed, it would have been alright by me. This is democracy. U4Prez, not U4Copulate or U4Olivia. However, had more shenanigans taken place like last year (and this week’s runoff schedule certainly doesn’t help matters, being recycled from last week’s list), I would have led a revolt. Several candidates quit U4Prez in August because they had enough of the place and followed my lead. Had we all returned to the same crap, I would have become to this democracy what Gandhi was to India—a nonviolent pain in the ass. Don’t ever underestimate the power one single person has in a civilized society. I would have organized boycotts, walk-outs, or mass resignations. And they would have worked, because unlike those who strictly believe a business is a piece of property that’s apparently fixed and unmoving, Gurr knows a business is much more, and it needs the energy of users to keep it going. No, no one had a gun to make the moderators do anything, but we certainly could lay a case where it would be in their best interest to do so. Olivia said it before, if Gurr wants a site with just BigDaddy, Copulate, and a bunch of newbies quitting, keep picking mediocrity over sanity. Right now, there is little mobility between the newbies and the elite, and there are NO middle classes therein. That makes U4Prez ripe to become a true oligarchy, or worse. Gurr is parading democracy as a commodity at U4Prez, but his apathy is letting it become a wasteland for the few. The Constitution may be a lot of things, but it was an expression of democratic distillations. I wish it was seen as more than a sandcastle for a couple of thugs to kick over.

But, life is what you make of it, right? If you want U4Prez to be a vibrant society, it will be that way. If you want it to be a band of thugs, like it was in 2007, keep doing what you’re doing. Those who thought they were defending Gurr’s property rights, I feel, are going to kill U4Prez in the long run.

Wiz, you are going to take the a lot of heat for this, and I am very sorry for doing this to you. Everyone else could take or leave Olivia, but you were her fiercest defender, her most loyal combatant, and her best friend at U4Prez. I wish there were something I could say that could keep the dogs off of you, but there isn’t. I hope they show a little compassion and realize they were duped just as you were, and in that, it won’t be so bad. Reality, though, tells my otherwise. Take this any way you wish, but at U4Prez, there was not a more honest soul, a more genuine candidate, than you. You and Olivia brought U4Prez to its knees, you made all the big boys here wet their pants, and you had fun doing it, not through cruelty like Copulate or bloviating like BigDaddy or shaking babies and kissing hands like Faustus or trying to be perfect like Kempite. You were your own man, and as far as I can tell, you are the only truly unique candidate there. Everyone else is a copy of an archetype. Wiz is the everyman, tired, drunk, wanting to shout down the powers that be but never quite doing it, finding a way to stick it to them without being a jerk about it. I wish Olivia could call you, but she can’t. And I am very sorry for that. A lot of people loved Olivia and will be disappointed, but you were more, and I’m sorry Olivia couldn’t give you more than she did. More than anyone else, you deserved a voice to go along with your commitment to her. Not Copulate, not Al, not Bluproject, not Erock, not any of the many who loved her and who she called friend. You were Olivia’s best friend. Singularly. And to you alone, I apologize. I’m so sorry.

I will not be back to U4Prez, I might just peek in to see who is doing what, but I won’t participate, so you need not worry if that new candidate who has good grammar and a slight temper is really Olivia. Depending on your point of view, one of U4Prez’s shining lights or biggest assholes is now gone. I know she had an impact. You can’t tell me otherwise. After a lot of shit talk about her, she will fade and die. This blog will be terminated before January 1, her MySpace is already dismantled, as is her U4Prez profile. Her email will remain. This is closure for me, something I didn’t give Olivia in the past. This article is a good catharsis, to get the last of her out of me. I am sure you think the absolute worst of me, and that’s fine, I didn’t give you much of a chance to get to know me, so I refuse to take much of the criticism personally. I’m sure I’m considered little more than a virtual-reality drag queen at this point. Whatever. I do hope, though, that Olivia is remembered for what she brought to the U4Prez world, truly, of all her incarnations, this was her finest hour.

Love, Olivia & X. XXX

Sunday, December 2, 2007

The More Things Change...

I thought the U4Prez Constitution was unnecessary, because the new servers and software and fuzzy dice and everything else Eric Gurr shelled out $25K for was supposed to be the panacea to solve each and every problem we candidates ever raised a stink over. Never another problem with voting or results or oversight or anything we were all complaining about all year long. I vividly remember, just last week, people coming up to me and saying the new wizardry would take care of all the little things I was getting so pissy over.

Why, then, did I wake up this morning, and the run-off schedule is virtually identical to the one from last week?

I shit you not. It's right there on the homepage for all to see. Compare it to last week's schedule.

Here are the only differences between the two. You ready? Tuesday, it's Polakoff instead of TheWiz running against Icababe, and Faust instead of Sparks420 against Lucky on Wednesday.

That's it!

Now, some would say, Olivia, it's a statistical anomly, a coincidence. Let's talk about this "coincidence".

Ten of the twelve candidates are the same from last week to this. TEN OF TWELVE. 83% of the candidates get a redo. All through last year, I think I was up in a run-off, in primaries or otherwise, three times in five months. That was with old-fashioned moderator bullshit. Now that they have the software to really fuck things up, they can no shuttle in virtually the exact same candidates every single week. To hell with the 2000-odd other candidates who would like a chance to compete. The computer, by whatever means, picked pretty much the exact same list of candidates from the week before.

Wait, there's more. Not only are they pretty much the same candidates, in four of the six pairings, it's the EXACT SAME PAIRING AS LAST WEEK! No flipping, no JKurth vs. KT2020 instead of KT2020 vs. JKurth. No mixing and matching. The exact same matchups, and even freakier, on the exact same days of the week! Monday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, you're voting for the same candidates in the same order.

Since when did Election Day become Groundhog Day?

In the past, if something like this happened, favoritism would be screeched from the rooftops. Or at least I would screech it, it's become apparent that many candidates accept apathy and incompetence as a way of life at U4Prez. I might even say a fix was in. I may yet. But not toay. Today, since everyone has been touting the infallibility of the new software, I'll simply say you've all put your faith in the wrong god. You wanted something that would solve all our problems, and apparently it's just created another problem.

Olivia, what's your problem, if you don't like it here, why don't you just leave? I just might. I came back, partly in the hopes that the new server, the new look, the new $25,000 wonder, was indeed an attempt to solve the very things that plagued U4Prez all last year. I was impressed by its new style, and I'm figuring it out slowly but surely, and I'm sure many looking to manipulate the new system are slowly but surely doing their thing. But if I came back, for THIS, for the love of Christ, please tell me what's changed.

I expect the moderators will trot out the same tired deadpan explanation, that they're working the kinks out, that it's something we need to be patient with. Haven't we heard this kind of thing since U4Prez started? Where is the evidence there's a new sense of urgency in Eric Fucking Gurr?

Isn't this evidence that the Constitution, still in the drafting process and slowing down for the moderators to catch up, has merit? Unless you accept mediocrity on a daily basis, why does one simply let the moderators off the hook for their own ineptitude? Instead of it being their mistake, it's now their $25,000 mistake.

Olivia, it's Gurr's site, it's his business. I'm not faulting the man for trying, he probably spent the rest of his mother's mortgage on this new contraption, I'm sure he's shitting bricks. Unlike those who apathetically say Gurr will solve his own problems and Olivia Shut Up, Gurr himself has all his eggs, not only in U4Prez, but this wondermachine that was supposed to take all the worry out of picking candidates for runoffs and elections and ensuring their legitimacy.

When last week's run-off schedule is basically regurgitated and called this week's schedule, I balk at the idea of legitimacy.

But hey, that's what you guys, you who attacked the Constitution the hardest, this is apparently what you want, another year of THIS.

And it's especially strange, the two yutzes who yelled the loudest and blew the most smoke up everyone collective ass--BigDaddy and Copulate--seem to benefit from there being no Constitution, no oversight, no candidate regulation. Having lost last week, it seems they get a chance the very next week to try it all over again. I wouldn't say it's a fix, and I say this because you two are expecting me to say as much. Ten candidates benefit from a fix? All I'm saying concerning you two blowhards is, you sure did get a gimme, I would thank my lucky stars and whatever golden calf I prayed to and slink away as quietly as you could. You are benefitting from Gurr's mediocrity, as expensive as the pricetag on that mediocrity now is. For $25,000, you guys who want things to stay exactly as they are, and for all to have faith in a box that will apparently just pick the same candidates over and over, you better be on your knees, thanking Gurr for his incompetence.

And before you two start on the OLIVIA IS A MAN rant, mind you, whenever someone stands up to you two, you start in with adhominems, with dodging, with deflection, and with anything else you have to try to take the spotlight off of you. You both scurried to the shadows like rats when I confronted you both on some very vulgar things you said about me, on the air, on Thanksgiving Eve, on Friday Night Fights, at around the 89-minute mark. When Faustus was putting the Constitution grievance concerning the candidates somehow seizing Gurr's private property to rest, BigDaddy starts questioning the validity of Faustus's presidency, making insinuations of fraud. It's called deflection, and it's a sign of surrender when one is in over his head in an argument.

You two are wrong on everything else, why wouldn't you also be wrong about this?

Now, would a Constitution have solved this? I don't know, it's still in the drafting stage. It's whatever we would make of it. Would a Constitution have given the candidates a little more access to the run-off process? Possibly. I don't know. What I do know is, after all these months of putting up with this, it seems the more things change, the more they stay the same. The definition of stupidity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result. For Gurr and the moderators to say over and over and over again they have the answer, yet some new fuck-up occurs as soon as we turn around, at some point we candidates need to use our own power to force a change. If not with peer pressure, then with boycotts. If not with the ballot, then with nonviolent disobedience. If not with petitions, then with resignations.

The only defense for these shenanigans is that the ten who are back earned their spots. I peek in, I'm not sure what great strides MatthewJ made to secure another spot, same day of the week, against Erock yet again. Other than talking trash about people on a talk show, I fail to see how Copulate, Demo, and BigDaddy did anything to further the U4Prez cause. I certainly don't buy that the new crop of candidates is so incredibly weak that it's impossible to break the elite's hold on the run-offs. What I'm more likely to believe is, if we buy the argument that the ten earned it, everyone else did not, and there is no room for someone improving themselves if the elite have taken up all the spots and can keep themselves there indefinitely. I don't buy the idea that there are only ten candidates making such sufficient strides as to give them a do-over, and 2000-odd candidates have no idea what they're doing.

Despite the belief that Gurr could turn this place into a porn site if he merely wanted to cash in, Gurr knows he has a million-dollar idea, and now is not the time for his newest trinket to go berzerk. More than anyone, I am addicted to this place and want it to succeed. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm tired of always doubting the moderators and having little faith in Gurr to do the right thing. U4Prez is turning int a game of Whack-A-Mole, you push the mole down one hole, he pops up in another, and you chase to that hole, he pops up in another.

I, for one, will not vote this week. And I strongly encourage every candidate who feels the same with me to not vote for any of the run-off candidates this week, not so much in protest of mediocrity, but because we already voted for these ten. We've been there, we've done that. There has not been enough significant change in U4Prez for anyone to think the outcome between Austin08 and Copulate will be any different.

The only way the incompetence of Eric Gurr can continue to rear its ugly head is if we candidates continue to complain at best and do nothing at worst.

I still support the Constitution, and this is evidence to me that the moderators, left up to themselves, can't screw in a lightbulb, no matter how expensive the devices are that they buy to make it so. With or without it, I will always champion the candidates and their ability to create change through their own determination. THAT'S what democracy is all about.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Memo to Demo: Drop Cop and Roll!

Dear Demo,

The other night, you explained to me, on the U4Prez boards, how you've come to the realization that, somehow, BigDaddy and Copulate are your friends. And while I respect you as a person and as a fellow candidate here, I do have to question your loyalty. I have to. I can't let this go whatsoever. We all know how you ROLL, but I would hope that doesn't, for whatever reason, make you set aside things like integrity.

I jumped on IronLady long, hard, and frequent in her blind loyalty to her mates on the Hard Right, and I would be a hypocrite if I didn't jump on your with the same level of honesty.

If you haven't heard the comment, let me tell you exactly where to find it, so you can no longer pledge ignorance on the subject. On the Thanksgiving Eve edition of Friday Night Fights, right around the 88-minute point and for about three minutes thereafter, I encourage you to listen. On it, you will find your two best buddies making the kind of comments that would make any woman cringe; the fact that Copulate was my oldest friend--what's this "friend" thing anyway, are we in MySpace--and my partner in crime sort of separates his words from BigDaddy's.

Now, I realize Friday Night Fights are akin to when work buddies go to the bar after a long day of work, and they let their hair down, have way too many, and talk all the shit they wish they could get away with at work. I get the concept. I know how you ROLL. The difference between FNF and the bar is, the Internet goes everywhere. At the bar, you just piss off the people around you, and maybe you get thrown out. On the Internet, the entire world could be listening in, and there's no volume control.

Frankly, I could give two shits. If that's how you like to ROLL, by talking shit about people behind their backs, that's your business. If that's the kind of "friends" you honor, more power to you.

Thanksgiving Eve was last Wednesday. On Saturday, a candidate I don't normally talk to comes up to me and tells me I was talked about on the show. Which is nothing new. Kempite and Mduminiak couldn't keep me out of their mouths. Whatever's left of BigDaddy's ass after I get done with him, he hobbles onto a stool and gets on a show and talks shit all night. No sweat, happens all the time, I told this candidate it's just part of being Olivia.

I didn't expect my oldest friend to be saying such gems as:

"She's real, she's a great human being, and if you've got a spare thousand bucks..."

For someone who was all over Kempite for calling me hooker, this coming out of Copulate's mouth, no matter how drunk at the time, was a surprise. I expect that from a lot of people, making my profession a subject in the attempt to silence me, hoping the mere mention of it would turn me into a pariah. I expect that from those that either don't know me or act holier-than-thou. I expect that from those who have nothing else in their arsenal. I didn't expect that from my formerly oldest friend.

When BigDaddy declares Copulate the candidate the most obsessed with all things Olivia, your buddy Copulate replies with, "I'm a sick bastard in that I think she would do anal."

Since your best friend brought it up, and since that's now the biggest question at U4Prez, let me explain it to you, Copulate, and anyone else who felt it funny to take it to this level. Yes, I do anal, and I enjoy it immensely. Anal sex is an acquired taste, sort of like beer, you think it tastes like piss, but the more you drink it, the better it tastes. I cum rather intensely from a good hard fuck in the ass by someone who knows what they're doing, and the feeling of my pussy spasming in orgasm while my ass is fucked makes me scream! Normally, if all a client wants to do is do me in the ass, I charge $500 for a base fee and $1000 for the act. Most of my clients pay me $2000, and within reason, that covers ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

Copulate wanted to go to this level, I'm just answering his queries. What else did this paragon of virtue you declare your neverending faith in say in the night in question?

BigDaddy's retort was, "At a thousand bucks, she better!" This, I expect out of Daddy. Daddy is a pig, you know that, I know that, especially he knows that, and would come to my face and say, hell yeah, I'm a pig, what are you going to do about it? I can't stand BigDaddy, he knows it, I know he can't stand me. But I can respect him in that he knows what he is. He knows he is dumb as a box of rocks and has nothing to offer U4Prez except gameplaying and thuggery. He can't even think for himself, he needs Copulate to start talking up the Olivia-is-a-piece-of-ass angle before he starts. He even chuckles at just how far Copulate would go, perhaps wondering why he didn't go there first. Whatever. I can at least respect him for being himself, for standing up for himself, and for never wavering, no matter how stupid he might be.

Copulate: "Exactly! Exactly! I don't care about her MySpace page! I care if she gives it up the ass!" Note the jubilation in his statement, the pride in knowing BigDaddy has gone along with him on this mental journey to Misogynist Paradise. This must all make you proud.

Copulate: "I want it bareback, by the way!" You'll notice, throughout the joyful romp through Olivia's ass, a couple of uneasy silences. KT2020 and Lucky are listening in uneasily, even KT2020 can be heard saying the show has definitely taken a turn for the worse. Some actually acknowledged that Copulate might have gone too far. Not you, Demo, when I talk about it to you, you say you love Copulate because he tells it like it is. In other words, you enjoy this kind of thing, you like people who talk the worst kind of shit behind someone's back.

Again, I didn't hear it, because I don't do the talk shows, that's not how I ROLL. I do anal, Copulate made sure everyone knew how I ROLL. But I don't do talk shows. Other candidates did, and one told me I was being talked about, like I said. Didn't think it would be so gutteral, I figured it would have been something stupid, and Daddy was bloviating about some thing or other. Didn't know my former oldest friend was talking about me like I was a gutterwhore, like I was nothing more than a fuck to pass around and laugh at while she's used and abused. But then again, he's now YOUR friend, that's how you ROLL.

So I confront Copulate about it when he was bagging on the Constitution because he apparently had nothing better to do. I ask him about it, and he dodges. I asked him again, he starts saying I'm a liar. Again I ask, he demands proof.

Now, you told me you admire him because he tells it like it is, and he doesn't back down. He tells the entire Internet about his desire to know if I take it up the ass--I'm sorry, the exact words are if I "give it up in the ass". Wouldn't want Copulate to cry bloody murder because I misquoted him. He tells the whole Net this, and when I stand up to him, he denies it, he says I'm a liar. Is this what you admire in Copulate, his talking shit and then acting like a coward when confronted?

Wait, there's more. In his longing to bring up the fact that I have not been on a talk show, he brought up a time when, in his usual drunken state, he drilled me to call him. I don't know what his motives are, perhaps he was horny and wanted to get some free phone sex, perhaps he truly wanted my opinion on something, considering how all he can think of is fucking me up the ass without a rubber, I think it's the first one. I never brought up the subject, because it was in a PM, and I never give one up. I don't play GOTCHA games, not like that, at least. But Cop broke the news, so I had nothing holding me back on asking him about THAT as well. First thing out of his mouth, he was drunk and gave me the wrong number. Then he said he never did it. Then he started on about my identity. Again, instead of manning up, he starts backtracking, making stuff up, trying to deflect.

THIS is why I respect BigDaddy and not Copulate. If BigDaddy said those things, he would have come up to me and said, you bet I said it, and I'll say it again. I know this, when he made a wifebeater comment he said it over and over, no matter how loud I screamed about it. I can thoroughly imagine him saying, yeah, Olivia, I tried calling you, but you punked out. Or, yeah, Olivia, I said it about doing you up the ass, you got a problem with it? As crass and vulgar and simply sick some of that might be, at least it's honest, and in that respect I agree with you about the fat hairy slug we all call BigDaddy.

Copulate is a worm. When confronted, he tries to slither out of whatever mess he made for himself. I brought up two prime examples of Cop at his best.

There is a reason why he's my FORMER oldest friend here. For one, I noticed a while back, even though we might have been fighting the good fight at U4Prez side by side, Copulate is cruel when he wants to be, and we all see how relentless he can be. If cruelty is how you ROLL, then Copulate is your kind of guy. When Hedrick played games with a PM that fell into BigDaddy's vile clutches, a day or so after that, several of us were confronting him, including myself and BigDaddy. JohnnyMars made the comment about us dogpiling him, and I realized we were doing the very thing we always accused the now-defunct Hard Right of doing, so I pulled back, as did the rest of us. Not Copulate. He continued to bear down on Hedrick about the PM, really letting him have it. As much as I wished he would let up, Cop continued, loud, hard, fast, relentlessly, I thought he was being hard on Hedrick unnecessarily. Finally, right in front of everyone, I yelled, COP, SHUT THE FUCK UP! It took me saying it like that again before he finally did. Sometimes doing the right thing trumps loyalty--that might seem strange to you, Demo, but it does.

Ever since, I think we'd been moving apart from one another. When he cracked (sorry, I know all the anal talk) the case on Kempite's vote manipulation, he alerted me, and I made sure it got onto this blog, so everyone would quickly know.

Yes, he emailed me once when I was away this October, and I replied. I am fascinated how he rubs that in Wiz's nose, how petty he can be when he wants to be. Is that how you like to ROLL as well, finding a sensitive spot in someone and digging into it relentlessly? Would it have made you smile if Copulate got Wiz, or anyone else, to cry? Kidding is one thing, but come on, Copulate goes well beyond kidding. Cop is cruel.

And cruelty is apparently how Demo likes to ROLL.

The last candidate I really laid into this was IronLady, who would turn one blind eye after another. Wouldn't matter what her little friends at the Hard Right did, so long as they were conservative and letting her into their clique, it was all good. I said right from the start, I respect you, and you can dance a drunken jig with BigDaddy and Copulate until you pass out in a naked pile on the floor.

Just don't give me any lines about being friends with Copulate because he stands up and tells it like it is. Copulate says a lot of mean things, and when confronted on it, he tries to weasel out of it. I hate BigDaddy's guts, but I respect how he would do the same thing and dare me to do something about it. Copulate, however, is the opposite.

I can't do this anymore concerning Copulate, watching him twist people like Lucky, taking his words and making them into something they aren't. I know the whole babykiller thing with Lucky was complete bullshit when I saw it, because Copulate has defended me when I said something similar. In fact, I've made much more harsh remarks concerning the military in the past, and I was defended by him. I saw Lucky's remarks, and I saw how grossly Cop took them out of context.

This is the game Copulate plays, and for a while it was cute. Back in July, when he was trying to dismantle the Republican Steering Committee, it was cute, because it was part of the battle between all that is good and the Hard Right. Mduminiak and his Committee tried to play it off, but Copulate succeeded in splintering the Republicans, apparently because he can, and for no other reason.

Shortly thereafter was the Hedrick incident, and that's where I started to get off the Copulate bandwagon, at least in spirit.

Since I've been back, forget it. I come back, and the first thing I see out of him is distorting Lucky's comment, apparently because he thinks there's enough dumbasses at U4Prez who will believe him.

Demo, you've seen Copulate's act, you see how he likes to ROLL. If that's what you call a friend, that's your business. Just don't be a hypocrite about it. If he's your friend because he's a cruel, relentless asshole, just say it. If you like him because he talks shit, then when cornered, he squirms like the worm he is, just tell me as much. But don't attach any virtue to Copulate that isn't there. Don't make Copulate into something he simply isn't. Even BigDaddy wouldn't assign any credit to Copulate, because for as much of a pig BigDaddy is, he knows Copulate is lower. BigDaddy stands for BigDaddy, at least that's something. At least BigDaddy defends his right to be a pig. Copulate is completely incapable of standing up for himself. He lets his mouth write checks his ass can't cash.

There are things in this world greater than loyalty, and I pity anyone who blindly follows someone in the name of friendship. Friendship is not asskissing. Friendship sometimes means looking your buddy in the eye and saying, you're fucking up, knock it off. Friendship sometimes means walking away when you know he's doing something you find disgusting. I told Copulate in the past, going back months, I wasn't going to play this game with him, him pushing my buttons like he does everyone else, then come back and expect everything to be hunky-dory. I can't be party to this anymore. I told Copulate that his Olivia privileges are terminated, and in response to this, he starts talking about me--let me get the quote right--about if "she gives it up in the ass."

Is THIS what you encourage with your blind loyalty? Should I refer to you in the same vein that I do IronLady, someone without principles, who stands for blind loyalty, no matter how ugly the incident? People applauded me when I went after Kempite calling me a hooker and a crackwhore, why let Copulate off the hook just because he's your friend? Do you want to be known as someone who condones the filthiest of thoughts?

If nothing else, even if it's all just a bad joke gone wrong, what's wrong with asking for an apology? Copulate had a chance to apologize, but instead, he called me a liar. Is that something you applaud?

Yes, I'm pretty upset about this. I've been at U4Prez for a while, getting some pretty good insults slung my way, and I think I've given as good as I've gotten. I was hoping I was transcending the image of prostitute I introduced myself as, and that people were seeing me as a person with a brain and a heart and a desire to put them to good use. Everywhere else in life, people see me as a piece of ass. Try as I might, I was hoping U4Prez was the one place to accept me, to note of my profession, but to see past it and discover what I have to offer. Some of my most notorious rivals here never did what Copulate stooped to. Mduminiak started out making Olivia-is-a-whore videos with Kempite, but Monkeyboy eventually started dealing with me as a candidate with a mind and left the hooker stuff behind. I don't think BigDaddy ever wallowed in the gutter the way Kempite and now Copulate have. Hawk brought it up every time he saw me, never giving me a chance. This one hurts, I really thought Copulate, of all people, was passed the superficial, and saw me as a candidate, a mind. I truly thought my former friendship with him was based on trust and respect. All I ever was to him was a fuck.

Even if, as some say, I'm overly sensitive, if someone is hurt by what you say, what do you do, Demo? Do you keep insulting them, or do you back up a little and reflect on what you said? Do you tell that person they're entirely wrong for feeling hurt, or do you think about it and try to see where they're coming from? Compassion is not a priority among your buddies, I truly hope at least you know what that means.

There is no compassion, or any other virtue, in Cop. Cop is a coward.

And if that's what you look for in a friend, then that's how you ROLL.

Monday, November 26, 2007

U4Prez Federalist #3

I appreciate the massive support being received upon this Constitution I've been proudly assigned to administer. On this very blog, I initiated the concept of a Constitution, something that would create a structure for ethics, candidates and moderators alike. The enormous support I'm getting from every angle is evidence that I am not alone in the belief that U4Prez has shortcomings, and if we all work as a community, there is nothing we can't achieve together.

I also appreciate the many dissenting voices, and I hope they continue to come. Without differences of opinion, these drafts we write will be shortsighted, and mistakes we as a Constitution Committee make may not be seen until it is too late. Without many different opinions coming to this vortez, yea and nay, this Constitution will not receive the legitimacy it truly needs. The hope is, through all these differing voices, we can put our selfish agendas aside in this endeavor, so far the largest, most complex, and certainly the least partisan project in the short history of U4Prez.

I do know the difference, however, between honest dissent and bullshit. I can tell when a candidate has a true grievance, a problem, a question needing an answer, and someone kicking over a sandcastle just because they can. I have had many spirited debates the last few weeks on this, and I know who is sincere and who isn't.

BigDaddy is not one of the sincere ones. Anytime someone has the audacity to call his editorial a Federalist Paper, and compare those seeking negotiations with the moderators a bunch of Nazis ransacking the Jews, it's time to wonder how rational he is. Typically, when in an argument, the first to pull out the Nazi card is the loser. In Daddy's case, since he pretty much calls anyone who ever opposes him a fascist, a collectivist, a communist, whatever name pops into his head, I fail to see why anyone would take him seriously.

Federalist #1 blown out of the water, let's blow out Federalist #2, this time taking on the name of Orwell. One of the concepts George Orwell talked about was doublethink, the ability to hold opposing views in one's mind can make perfect sense of it. BigDaddy has already contributed to the brainstorming process of this Constitution, having initially made a remark to MejicoJohn concerning a cut-off limit for voting in the general election. I invite the candidates of U4Prez to rummage through the U4Prez Constitution caucus, about three weeks ago, and there's BigDaddy, brainstorming it up for all to see, even though he was against it. Now, some might spring to the word hypocrite in this case, how can a candidate allegedly against the Constitution give ideas for it? Some may call this hypocrisy or a contradiction. Not me. It's just doublethink.

Daddy, do me a favor, if you're going to namedrop, drop a name you're familiar with. Federalist #2 down the crapper.

Having put the biggest blowhard at U4Prez behind us, we can get a little more serious.

This Constitution is not the work of one person, and I have said over and over, a committee is being put together to ferret out the latest draft. The first draft was written largely by Faustus before the general election, with at least myself, Wiz, and Lucky contributing to it. Along with which, two dozen candidates from all parties participated in the brainstorming session a couple weeks ago, and many ideas from that session made its way to the second draft. A committee will be announced in the next day or so to continue the rewrites, and as always, continued criticism is appreciated and definitely needed. I would say, around forty candidates have chimed in on one level or another. For U4Prez, that's a solid handful. Anyone who thinks this is Olivia doing it all is sadly mistaken.

The biggest complaint I hear concerning this Constitution is that it violates the rights of ownership. There's a lot of talk these days about private property and its sanctity, and a whole lot of energy has been spect on the subject. And I agree with every one of you who believe that the candidates have no right to dictate what ownership should do. President Faustus agrees with this as well, that the candidates are toothless to enforce a damn word of this Constitution.

But BigDaddy, and many of the others who oppose this Constitution on the grounds of the private property issue, agree with Faustus and me in that, if we want any sort of changes made at U4Prez, it will only happen through negotiation. This much, I think every candidate who has had to sit and deal with much of the mediocrity the moderators have handed us this year, we can agree upon, that if we want anything to change, it has to be done through negotiation. Even the biggest son of a bitch here, BigDaddy, agrees.

Well then, if we're all in agreement on this, what's the problem?

If the moderators don't want it, it won't happen, plain and simple. There's no way we can put a gun to Eric Gurr's head to enforce anything.

For all the talk about this Constitution being a form of tyranny, not a single candidate has come forth and explained how this Constitution can be enforced without the moderator's approval. No one has shown a single method in which we candidates can wring the server our of the moderator's hands and wrest power away for ourselves. Not one of you who have bellyached about this issue have come up with a plan for the lunatics to overrun the asylum and take it over. And until you do, I consider any talk about forcing anything on the moderators complete shit.

What's more, when I ask for someone to explain to me exactly which rights we will be taking away from the moderators, no one has an answer except me. The only "rights" the Constitution seeks to take away from the moderators is the ability to be lazy and negligent without at least a slap on the wrist. That is, of course, if we first had the ability to unilaterally force anything on the moderators in the first place.

Until I hear a cohesive argument about how we silly candidates are going to ramrod this Constitution down Eric Gurr's throat, I will consider that subject closed. Until someone stands up and tells me exactly how the desire for the moderators to do the job they're fucking paid for in the first place is somehow snatching their rights away, again, I see no merit in pursuing the argument further.

For all the namedropping and hyperbole BigDaddy offers, in the end it's just another rant spewed upon the U4Prez population, another attempt at a GOTCHA. He cares not one whit about Eric Gurr or U4Prez, they could both go to Hell as far as he's concerned. So long as he can get a GOTCHA, that's all he wants. And who better to try to knock down than his old nemesis, Olivia? He's tried to play GOTCHA with me and failed miserably over and over again. This has nothing to do with constitutional conviction for him, don't ever think otherwise. This is personal. He is a bully, I don't think anyone really thinks him to be anything but. He got his ass kicked by a girl for months, he has been exposed to be nothing but a mean fool trying to manipulate U4Prez for his own amusement, and here's Olivia, being loud and proud again, let's knock her and her little project down if we can. He's not doing this out of any principles, because he's proven he wipes his ass with principles. This is a bully trying to get in just one shot, after having the crap beaten out of him time and again, before he is knocked out once and for all.

Perish the thought, but exactly what would these candidates do if Eric Gurr actually thought the Constitution was worthy of consideration? I want you to think about that one, because it goes to the core of why you fight for his private property rights against a Constitution no one has proven will take a single right away, and no one has proven will not take effect without moderator permission. If he is for this, or at least for negotiating with the candidates for the sake of some meaningful changes, would you still be against this project? If Eric approves this, exactly how would we be forcing him to comply? Exactly which rights would we be violating? It's the same Constitution.

Or, if he is intrigued by the idea of this website, allegedly promoting democracy, having its very candidates, its users, pen a set of principles in which all might abide by, would that be what it takes to get you to jump on the bandwagon?

I appreciate dissent, never think I don't. But I will not accept a blanket accusation against a document, still in its larva stage, if you haven't read it. Show me where the great tyranny lies within. BigDaddy writes in generalities and paints with a broad brush, but he never tells you a single article or section that violates the principles he's allegedly championing. He talks about we who are writing this Constitution being Nazis taking property from the Jews, and yet he does not tell us how we will do this, by what means we will snatch power from the helpless moderators and declare ourselves diabolical rulers for life. He and others talk about violating rights, and yet no one can define what rights they are, and offer only generalities, clouds in the sky, wishful thinking on their part. BigDaddy thinks you all are a bunch of dumbshits he can easily sway for his own pleasure, he says so on his own talk show, he's just out there to play his little games. This is just another one, another attempt to GET Olivia.

I have always relied on the intelligence of the U4Prez community to do the right thing. Time has proven to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that when push comes to shove, the candidates will stop listening to empty rhetoric, bullying tactics, and meatless sophistry, and make a decision based on intelligence and principle. What I see in the candidates to be ethics and undertanding, BigDaddy will always see as strings he can use to yank you like the puppets he thinks you to be.

If this Constitution fails, either by moderator disinterest or inability to ratify, I will be proud of the work we've done in penning what we did, in raising the issue of U4Prez sovereignty, and in talking seriously about where U4Prez goes from here.

I encourage all candidates to not only continue to show your criticism, your dissent, and your support for this, but to also get involved in the process. As I've said, the early contenders for 2008 will get their start here. It's one thing to come to U4Prez and campaign, but if all you're going to do is bitch about politics, what's the point? This Constitution is a great idea to put yourpolitical abilities to practice, to show yourself to be a real leader. When this Constitution is ratified, we all will be able to point to it with pride and say, we made that. WE made that. Down the road, when we resume our campaigns and start talking about things like principles and leadership, you will be able to smile and say, what others merely talk about at U4Prez, I actually did it. While others were complaining, I stepped up and did something. While others continue to browbeat one another with useless rhetoric, you will tower above them as real candidates, real contenders, and real leaders.

Love, Olivia. XXX

Thursday, November 22, 2007

The Second Constitutional Draft is in!

Just a moment ago, I posted the promised second draft for the U4Prez Constitution. I took the essence of the first draft written by Faustus and Lucky, took as many of the issues we brainstormed a couple weekends ago to heart, and finished this up this morning. I am aware it is not a perfect piece, and some will find loopholes in it that have to be closed, or items that either should be added or deleted. In any case, it is a draft from which to work with, and I am delighted it's done and can now go onto a committee for a critique.

Anyone interested in being in the committee, contact me.

And anyone interested in criticizing without getting involved, I would love to hear and all remarks you have on the subject, good or bad. Mind you, I am more inclined to go through the committee for amending it, but I will take all ideas into consideration.


U4PREZ CONSTITUTION
(Second Draft)


PREAMBLE
It is in the spirit and celebration of America, democracy, and the tradition of American-style politics, that we, candidates and moderators alike, come together to enforce this Constitution for the website U4Prez.com. With this document, we hope to create an experience whereby all candidates can freely conduct their campaigns, secure in the fact that every vote is legitimate, every election is above reproach, every grievance will be handled with the utmost urgency, every system can be easily explained, every notice will be clearly posted, and every alteration made is done in such a way as to minimize confusion, reduce negligence, eliminate apathy, and, most importantly, install faith in whatever changes are deemed necessary to move U4Prez forward.

ARTICLE I (The Moderators)

SECTION I: By definition, a moderator is anyone employed specifically to maintain the server for U4Prez, and is responsible for the upkeep of the website.

SECTION II: The creator of U4Prez, or any other person of like authority, is considered a moderator. The moderators are entitled to name one of their own for the sake of various votes and negotiations.

SECTION III: The moderator must keep all functions pertaining to U4Prez interactivity in working order, or explain in a clear and obvious manner as to why this cannot be done.

SECTION IV: The moderator must maintain lists and pages for all processes within U4Prez in an obvious location. The moderator must also maintain a calendar of upcoming events, schedules, run-offs, and monthly primaries, in an obvious location.

SECTION V: Any changes in processes concerning the interface or server must be explained to the U4Prez population in a clear and concise manner, and it will be posted in an obvious location. This notification should be made before the changes are made, and sufficient time must be allowed between notification and action.

SECTION VI: The moderator will make every effort to adequately satisfy any inquiry made by any candidate pertaining to the functions of the site.

SECTION VII: The moderator will be responsible for carrying out any sentence against any candidate put forth by the Board of Canvassers.

SECTION VIII: The moderator must make available to the Board of Canvassers all necessary materials needed to settle a contested election, upon the demand of the Board, in a timely and urgent manner.

SECTION IX: The moderator reserves the right to suspend any candidate for any reason pertaining to the User Agreement. However, the suspension must be immediately reported to the Board of Canvassers for proper sentencing. The moderator must also make all grievances made by candidates known to the Board in an immediate manner. Although there is officially no penalty of termination at U4Prez, should the moderators feel it necessary to terminate a candidate for violations of the User Agreement, the moderators must submit an explanation to the Board of Canvassers in a timely, clear, and obvious manner.

ARTICLE II (The Candidates)

SECTION I: A candidate is defined as any user at the U4Prez website. Said candidate must not have direct access to the U4Prez server. Validation of email address is prerequisite to any actions within the U4Prez website.

SECTION II: A candidate is free to choose whatever party to belong to, or, if choosing no party affiliation, the candidate can choose to be part of the Independent group. A candidate may change party affiliation at any time, but must give up any responsibilities or primary wins gained in duration with previous party. Candidates may be held responsible for any actions within their chosen party according to their bylaws.

SECTION III: A candidate is free to conduct a campaign of his or her own choosing, provided that no part of said campaign is in violation of the User Agreement or this Constitution.

SECTION IV: A candidate is entitled to consult with a moderator at any time concerning the website itself and to register complaints pertaining to the conduct of other candidates.

SECTION V: A candidate, upon validation, may vote for any candidate or caucus as (s)he wishes. However, the candidate must have been a member of U4Prez no less than twenty days prior to the general election in order to vote therein.

ARTICLE III (The Parties)

SECTION I: A party is any organization seeking to put forth candidates for run-offs, primaries, and general elections.

SECTION II: There are two kinds of parties. Major parties are sanctioned by U4Prez and have met criteria for legitimacy. Such criteria include membership of no less than twenty candidates upon application, a spokesman, and formal recognition of the U4Prez Constitution. Minor parties are groups actively seeking major party status but have not met all criteria.

SECTION III: Upon the ratification of this Constitution, the Republican and Democratic Parties will be recognized as major parties.

SECTION IV: The Independent group will be considered a major party by definition, as it will have the ability to create its own leadership and bylaws. It will also retain all minor parties until they achieve major party status, as well as all candidates not seeking party affiliation. The Independent group must assist minor groups in achieving major party status, regardless of platform, core issues and principles, or placement on the political spectrum.

SECTION V: All powers not specifically delegated to the moderators, the President, or the Board of Canvassers, are hereby delegated to the major parties, the Independent group, or the candidates. No bylaw created by the major parties, however, may violate any part of this Constitution. The major parties have the power to construct their own organization, draft their own laws of conduct, and offer names of candidates for primary competition and the Board of Canvassers.

SECTION VI: The major parties, by their own means, must choose a leader. The party leader serves a three-month term, with term limits to be decided within the party. Terms begin on the tenth day of December, March, June, and September.

SECTION VIII: Each major party must choose three candidates to participate in the Board of Canvassers, and the Independent group must choose two candidates. Each Canvasser will serve a term of one month, the terms of which to be decided within each party.

SECTION IX: No newly-formed major party may compete in the primaries immediately following the granting of major-party status, but may compete the following month.

SECTION X: Each major party, including the Independent group, may offer up to six candidate positions each month for competing in that month’s primary. No candidate in the position of Canvasser may compete in a primary, but will be given first consideration for a position in the primary the month after his term as Canvasser is done.

SECTION XI: A major party may not prevent a candidate from joining the party, nor may it coerce a candidate into leaving the party. However, a major party has the right to install whatever restrictions it wishes to on its members pertaining to primary qualification, Canvasser qualification, or leadership positions.

SECTION XII: A major party may be dissolved if its membership drops below ten candidates, the members formally declare the party void, or if the party leader is found guilty of systematic vote manipulation or of concealing any knowledge of such vote manipulation within the party.

ARTICLE IV (The Election Processes)

SECTION I: The selection of Canvassers and major party leaders will be left to the major parties and the Independent group themselves.

SECTION II: Daily run-offs are at the discretion of the moderators.

SECTION III: Concerning monthly primaries, each major party and the Independent group will receive six slots for candidates to compete against one another. The selection of these candidates will be determined within the major parties and the Independent group themselves. Among these six selections will include any qualified automatic primary bids gained by candidates rewarded for their service with the Board of Canvassers.

SECTION IV: For each monthly primary, per major party and the Independent group, the candidates participating will be engaged in three round of competition. In the first round, the candidates will be paired up in run-off fashion. The four candidates with the highest raw scores will move onto the second round, where the highest-scoring candidate will be paired with candidate #4, and candidate #2 with candidate #3. The winners of these head-to-head pairings will move onto a primary final. The winner of this final pairing wins their party’s primary for that month.

SECTION V: A primary win is the ONLY means by which a candidate is guaranteed to compete in the major party conventions and the general election. Primary wins are non-transferable. A candidate who chooses to switch parties must give up any primary wins from his previous party. A primary win may not be given to another candidate if the recipient quits U4Prez, or, for whatever reason, cannot compete in the conventions and general election. Primary wins confiscated by the Board of Canvassers due to discipline, especially if said discipline comes from the actions of a third-level crime, cannot be returned upon reinstatement of candidate.

SECTION VI: All primary winners will compete in their party’s convention, to be scheduled approximately 3 to 6 weeks prior to the general election. They will follow the same format as the monthly primaries, with candidates competing in run-offs, and the candidates with the four highest raw scores competing in the second round and the final. Candidates with multiple primary wins can only gain one position in the second round. If, for whatever reason, less than four candidates qualify for the second round, the candidate with the highest raw score will receive a “bye”. The winners will represent their given major parties and the Independent group in the general election.

SECTION VII: The general election will take place during the first full week of November, with voting taking place on Wednesday through Friday. Nominees from every qualifying major party and the Independent group will be placed on the ballot.

SECTION VIII: The general election is the only election where write-in campaigns are welcome, and a place for write-ins will be placed in an obvious place within the ballot.

SECTION IX: In the event where no majority is achieved by a single candidate, the three candidates with the highest vote counts will compete in a run-off. At this point, the candidate with the most votes wins and becomes President. During the general election, if a write-in candidate appears to be one of the top three candidates in terms of vote count, that candidate will be allowed in the run-off.

SECTION X: In the case where an election is decided by less than five percent, any candidate who is involved may notify the Board of Canvassers of their intention to challenge the results. A candidate may also notify the Board of Canvassers if they have reason to suspect a third-level crime was committed. In the event where an election is decided by less than two percent, the Board of Canvassers will automatically challenge the results.

SECTION XI: No primary election or general election will be considered valid and legitimate without the Board of Canvassers’ approval.

ARTICLE V (The Office of the Executive)

SECTION I: The President of U4Prez, shall be voted on by the eligible population of U4Prez, as deemed in a predetermined fashion, to serve a one-year term. So long as (s)he is legitimately voted to the position, there is no term limit.

SECTION II: The President is the chief negotiator on behalf of the candidates of U4Prez concerning the moderators. Aside from interface problems, candidates should work with the chief executive concerning matters for moderators where the server, vote processes, and any other systemic issues come up.

SECTION III: The President shall appoint his own staff at his own discretion, within the confines of this Constitution.

SECTION IV: Upon taking office, the President must appoint a Vice President, who is to serve concurrently with the President who appointed him. The Vice President can be removed from his office, either by the President alone or through the impeachment process. The Vice President represents the executive in the Board of Canvassers, voting within the Board only to break a tie.

SECTION V: The President shall appoint within his staff at least one candidate with computer expertise.

SECTION VI: The President may not serve in any other office during his term.

SECTION VII: The President, at the commencement of major party conventions, will be granted an automatic primary win, and must compete with other primary winners within said party for the nomination. The President is exempt from the primary process and will not compete in any election until the party conventions. No other formally sitting President has this honor.

ARTICLE VI (The Board of Canvassers)

SECTION I: A Board of Canvassers will be maintained, consisting of three representatives from each major party, two representatives from the Independent group, and the Vice President.

SECTION II: The duties of the Board of Canvassers include election oversight and validation, judging candidates for their conduct and administering consequences accordingly, and voting on other various issues as they arise.

SECTION III: The Vice President shall chair the Board of Canvassers, bringing matters to its attention. The Vice President may only vote within the Board to break a tie.

SECTION IV: Except for the Vice President (who serves at the leisure of the executive), Canvassers serve one-month terms without limits, in accordance to the bylaws of their given parties.

SECTION V: To preserve the integrity of the election process, no Canvasser may run in a primary so long as he is in the position of Canvasser. Upon leaving the position, the former Canvasser will be granted an automatic primary position for the subsequent primary, taking one of the six positions guaranteed to each major party and the Independent group.

SECTION VI: No primary election or general election will be considered valid and legitimate without the Board of Canvassers’ approval.

ARTICLE VII (Justice)

SECTION I: There are three levels of crime within U4Prez. It is incumbent on the Board of Canvasses to conduct an adequate investigation pertaining to any accusations made against any candidate, to categorize said crime, to list any sentence to be carried out, and to consult the moderators concerning enforcement.

SECTION II: The first level of crime pertains to a single episode which violates the User Agreement, either in practice or in spirit. Such events include, but are not limited to, excessive swearing, over-aggressive abuse against another candidate, and posting vulgar or pornographic material on one’s profile. The penalty for such actions will be a suspension of no less than 72 hours for a first offense, with the Board of Canvassers given the right to lengthen the suspension for repeat offenses.

SECTION III: The second level of crime pertains to repeated episodes which violate the User Agreement. Such events include, but are not limited to, spamming and repeated abuses of another candidate, because of their repetitive nature. Also, any candidate who repeatedly commits a first-level offense may be sentenced as a second-level offense, having committed the offense no less than three previous times. The penalty for second-level offenses will be a suspension of no less than one week, with the Board of Canvassers given the right to lengthen the suspension according to the repetition and severity of the offense.

SECTION IV: The third level of crime pertains to tampering and manipulation of any processes having to do with U4Prez servers and software. Such events include, but are not limited to, manipulation of another candidate’s profile, hacking into the U4Prez server, and vote tampering. Since these offenses affect the integrity of the website, they are considered the most severe and should be sentenced accordingly. The penalty for third-level offenses will be a suspension of no less than thirty days, as well as the termination of any responsibilities granted and any primary wins.

SECTION V: If the moderator finds it necessary to immediately suspend a candidate for any reason, the moderator must immediately consult the Board of Canvassers for proper sentencing.

SECTION VI: At the end of a suspension, the candidate in question must apply for reinstatement with the Board of Canvassers. The Board may not deter any candidate from reinstatement and must approve all applications, provided the sentence is completed. No candidate may ask for a reinstatement of primary wins.

SECTION VII: The article concerning justice at U4Prez is limited to conduct as a candidate on the U4Prez website only. No judicial action may be taken against a candidate because of conduct in real life or elsewhere on the Internet. The exception to this rule is any action that leads to a third-level crime.

SECTION VIII: The Board of Canvasser’s has no authority to sentence a candidate to termination. Should the moderators feel it necessary to terminate a candidate for violation of the User Agreement, the Board is entitled to a detailed explanation, and this should be posted in a clear and obvious manner.

SECTION IX: Any violation of this Constitution, which is not rectified in a timely manner, may be considered a second-level crime, with subsequent violations rendering them third-level status.

ARTICLE VIII (Impeachment, Ratification& Amendment Processes)

SECTION I: Any candidate may inquire upon the Board of Canvassers to move to impeach the sitting President and/or Vice President and seek to remove him from office, provided the accused has evidence against him to initiate an investigation of his guilt of a third-level crime. Upon a vote of 2/3 of Canvassers and 2/3 of all major party leaders (including the Independent group), the inquiry shall be put up on petition for the U4Prez population. The petition must collect no less than thirty confirmable candidate signatures within thirty days. If these criteria are met, the President will be removed from office, with all rights, responsibilities, and privileges going to the Vice President, or to whoever the President has previously designated as a successor. If no successor is named, the Board of Canvassers will convene and decide among all major party leaders, naming the new President from among them. If the criteria is not met, another impeachment proceeding may not commence for sixty days thereafter.

SECTION II: Major parties and the Independent group may initiate their own impeachment processes for the removal of their own leadership or Canvassers. The only reason an entity outside the party may remove a leader or Canvasser is in the case of a third-level crime, having been judged by the Board of Canvassers and sentenced accordingly.

SECTION III: This Constitution will take effect upon the unanimous approval of leadership among the Republican and Democratic Parties, as well as the Independent group, as well the President, a spokesman for the moderators, and the signing of no less than thirty candidates not currently in a leadership position.

SECTION IV: Any amendment to this Constitution must be approved by no less than 2/3 of the Board of Canvassers, 2/3 of major party leadership (including the Independent group), the President, and a spokesman for the moderators. Upon this, the amendment will go into affect upon the signing of thirty candidates not in any of the previously mentioned positions at the time of amendment approval. If these criteria are not met within thirty days, the proposed amendment must wait thirty days before commencing the process again from the beginning.

With the assistance of over two dozen U4Prez candidates, I humbly submit this draft for the population of U4Prez to criticize, dissect, re-write, and re-submit.

Second Constitutional Draft composed by Olivia Cortez (aka Olivia2008).
November 22, 2007

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Voting for the Best Of U4Prez 2007 Starts Now!

The election is over, and although I strongly encourage every candidate to take part in creating the U4Prez Constitution (second draft due this coming week), from now until January 1, there's not much going on in terms of campaigning. There's always time to debate and bitch, but in terms of revamping our platforms, of renovating our profiles, of posturing and peering and prying and and getting ourselves in position to contend in 2008, this is the time of year to take a break, recharge our batteries, enjoy the holidays, and just chill.

This is a perfect opportunity to send 2007 off with a bang, to remember the year that was, and back in June, I thought a year-in-review would be a fantastic way to congratulate the candidates that made the effort to get here every day and duke it out. This is where the readers of K&T can give kudos to their favorite candidates, and show them your appreciation for fighting the good fight this year.

Originally, this was going to be a Best & Worst Of, but I got to thinking, there has been a lot of negativity at U4Prez, and it's one thing when it's the heat of battle, and feathers get ruffled. This is limbo, the dead part of the year, this should be a joyous time. We bag on each other all the time, and I'll be the first to admit, I give as good as I get. I started thinking of categories like Biggest Douchebag, Biggest Cunt, and I know I can be opinionated, vicious, even cruel, but that crosses the line, even for me. We have the rest of the year to wallow in our schadenfreude. to put others down, to make one another look bad. Let's have one event, where everyone can participate, something to get everyone talking about last year in a good way, without someone necessarily having to be the goat.

HERE ARE THE RULES
1--The Kiss & Tell Best Of U4Prez Awards 2007 is not sanctioned by U4Prez.com or its creator, Eric Gurr. U4Prez.com is not responsible for any remarks made by Kiss & Tell concerning any candidate. Kiss & Tell is solely responsible for the content of these rewards, and complaints should be registered directly to Olivia, by any means necessary.

2--Consider this a sort of People's Choice Awards, or better yet, voting for Prom King or Most Likely To Succeed in high school. It is designed to celebrate the candidates of U4Prez in a lighthearted way.

3--Any U4Prez candidate who can prove her candidacy is eligible to vote and to be voted for. Votes can be made by sending your vote list to Olivia, either through a comment here at K&T, a comment or private message at U4Prez.com (profile: Olivia2008), email (irresistibleolivia@hotmail.com), or a comment or private message at MySpace (myspace.com/irresistibleolivia). Simply list the categories below, and add the name of the candidate you want to win to that category. Vote for as many categories as you wish. One vote per voter. All votes made privately will remain private, and no identities will be made public if their votes are cast in private.

4--Olivia cannot vote for anything having to do with Olivia or Kiss & Tell. Anything I said and did and made, I cannot vote for. However, if I am the subject of someone else's work, then yes, I can. If my name is mentioned by someone else on their video or talk show, you can't blame me for that one.

5--The deadline for getting your ballot to Olivia is Sunday, December 16, 2007 (and I won't be so cutthroat as to put an exact time).

6--Winners will be announced in the Sunday, December 23, 2007 edition of Kiss & Tell. Consider it my Christmas present to U4Prez!

7--All winners will receive the validation of the U4Prez world. They will be able to puff out their chests for the entire next year and say they were the best at something around here. They will also receive a dumb but cute little avatar as a kind of trophy to paste onto their profiles, or, if they're really proud of it, blow it up to poster size, print it, and paste it on their bedroom walls.

8--In the event of a tie, all candidates in that tie will be declared winners and given awards.

HERE ARE THE CATEGORIES (26 total)
PRESENTATION (11)
Best Avatar
Best Banner
Best Blog
Best Caucus / Organization
Best Jukebox
Best Photoshop Pic
Best Platform
Best Profile
Best Sound Bite
Best Talk Show
Best Video

PERSONALITY (9)
Candidate I’d Most Like to Have a Beer With
Candidate who Made the Biggest Impact
Most Controversial Candidate
Most Creative Candidate
Most Diplomatic Candidate
Most Entertaining Candidate
Most Improved Candidate
Most Intelligent Candidate
Most Professional Candidate

PERFORMANCE (6)
Best Liberal Candidate
Best Conservative Candidate
Best Centrist Candidate
Best Candidate NOT to Win a Primary
Best Leader
Most Likely to Actually Become President of the United States

If you wish to know who I am voting for, I will post my votes in the comments section of this article later today.

You have a month to mull this one over, to argue over it, to think who is deserving.

I will advertize these awards in my own way, but remember, these are OUR awards, voted on by the candidates, for the candidates.

Love, Olivia. XXX

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Election Post Mortem

The election is over, 2007 has mercifully come to an end, and we have someone new we can burn in effigy when times at U4Prez get rough. While Eric Gurr certainly has done his share to garner criticism, the democratic process, however legitimate it might be around here, produced a President.

I congratulate Faustus37, better known to Idahoans as W. Lane Startin, better known to Evie as Daddy, for being the first President chosen by the candidates of U4Prez.

Okay, that’s long enough of a honeymoon. You can officially start ripping on him.

Voting for Faustus for President at U4Prez is sort of like voting for Winnie the Pooh for President of the Hundred Acre Wood. After he won Democratic primary #3, it was evident he was the man to beat. And let’s face it, Independents and Republicans, he was able to accomplish what the rest of us couldn’t—he got his entire party behind him.

While I don’t consider a victory of six to nine votes, depending on who you listen to, a decisive mandate, I do feel Faustus is probably the best choice for U4Prez at this juncture. This place needs someone who can start right away, and he hasn’t screwed around, already putting together a Cabinet and taking an active part of the Constitution we at Kiss & Tell had previously discussed.

Faustus’s win did not come without its share of controversy. Many candidates were screaming foul about how votes were gathered, not just concerning Faustus, but in the other camps as well. Like virtually every other election in U4Prez history, this one will be questioned long after the fact.

All this, you already know. You didn’t come here to read about events you participated in and already know backward and forward. You came to see how I would torture the facts, twist events to fit my warped view of the world, and butcher history for my own delight.

And away I go.

Musicman deserved every one of those 42 votes he got, and not a single one more. Whether my previous comment about how a vote for Music is a vote coming from your rectum had anything to do with his poor showing, I don’t know, but I have no problem taking an inkling of credit for it. Music was the victim of a thoroughly divided GOP, and while Mduminiak did the very noble thing in taking the blame for the Republicans’ pathetic showing in the election, I think he quit about three months too late. Musicman was thrown under the bus for Mduminiak’s ineptitude, much of which has been recorded elsewhere on this blog.

Mduminiak can’t say Olivia didn’t warn him. I was saying as early as July, the Steering Committee was a bad idea, but NOOOOOO, Monkeyboy was going to divide his party, no matter what anyone told him. He installed his own flunkies and more or less turned the entire U4Prez GOP into his personal Liberty Caucus, the same way Kempite put the LC together in the first place: throw in a few moderates and liberals as tokens to make it look broad based, but make absolutely sure the extreme right wins out, by any means necessary.

I know it’s the politically expeditious thing to do, to tell the rest of us all is well, Olivia is just making shit up, but when you have high-profile Republicans like Copulate and HAK beating down the Steering Committee’s door to get in, and lackeys like Goffdale and Friday acting like they actually know something, something’s not quite in sync with reality. The very fact that Mduminiak set up his own buddies in this committee screamed cronyism, and considering the real GOP has been riddled by one awful appointment by Bush after another after another, and we have to watch in awe their complete ineptitude when things like a hurricane drenches New Orleans, I’m not how anyone can think anything but another disaster could occur. Mduminiak remained obstinate, denying the very truth that his party was fracturing; it’s not news that Mduminiak, Kempite and the Hard Right wanted to steer the GOP even further to the right, and they fully expected the slightly more moderate elements of the party, like Copulate and HAK and Efferiss, to follow blindly in partisan loyalty.

This piss poor decision bore its fruit in the Republican Convention and the multiple runoffs. There is a potential for things to turn ugly anytime Copulate gets in the middle of it, and this was no exception. Musicman might have won the nomination, but instead it being a uniting victory, it was a stumbling escape from a war of attrition. Musicman survived instead of conquered, and by the skin of his teeth, by the looks of it.

For his part, Musicman could have done a better job of uniting the party after his “victory”, but instead of picking a running mate that could have done that, he picked his friend, Ghost. At one point this summer, I thought Ghost and Musicman were one and the same, for one always did what the other did, one was the other’s shadow. As much as I can appreciate the loyalty (I said previously I would have picked DonnyWiz to be my VeePee if I were in such a position), considering a GOP in ruins, he could have done better by picking a better mate. This is where thinking only of yourself hurts an entire party. Despite months of Mduminiak’s gross negligence and ignorance of how dangerous that negligence was, Music could have repaired some of the damage done by an egotistical party leader and a brutal convention. Instead, he thought only of himself. Which is why he deserved 42 votes but not 43.

For the Republicans, 2007 proved one thing, and unless they solve this one problem in 2008, the same thing will happen. And that thing is, don’t fuck with Copulate! All throughout the year, Copulate was a thorn in the Hard Right’s side, questioning any sort of authority with his customary variety of caustic sarcasm and relentless nagging. He was a high-profile candidate that no hardcore conservative could stand, and because the self-proclaimed powers of the GOP wanted to go further right, Copulate was deemed an outsider, a nuisance. Next year’s leadership would do itself a favor in keeping Copulate in the loop, if for no other reason but the old adage of keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. Left to his own devices, Copulate will fuck the GOP up again in 2008. Instead of engaging him in constant bickering, instead of letting him turn molehills into mountains, instead of letting minor incidents become front-page news, I strongly encourage you to play nice with him, find a way to include him into your schemes. You definitely want him on your side instead of against you. He is a warrior. Enlist him before you allow him to feel like an outsider. He made more of a difference in determining the president as a one-primary-win candidate than the party leader and the longtime Golden Boy Kempite. If there are any dirty-tricks or rumors of dirty-tricks, he will be all over it and biting hard. The best offense, in this case, is a good defense, and if you can’t beat Copulate, let him join you.

Two of the three major candidates employed late-registering candidates to boost their numbers. There isn’t anything illegal about it, some would even call it ethical. Not me. Among others, I noticed the stream of newbies coming in on the last night of the election. While I can appreciate someone working within the rules to find an advantage, the whole thing just reeks. Many are questioning the validity of this election, which figures, every election has been tainted, why should the big one be any different?

The rosy comments Gurr put on the homepage concerning this last year being a banner year, I hope no one bought that trash. Just like Friday and Goffdale trying to convince everyone Olivia is full of shit and the GOP is just fine, Gurr has no choice in the matter. He had to put on his brave face and lie. In such a speech, of course he isn’t going to mention how the moderators—him being one among equals—fell asleep behind the wheel on several occasions, screwing several candidates out of their positions in run-offs and primaries. He’s not going to tell you he had his favorites, and I can say this because I was one, and Kempite was another. He’s not going to tell you his wanting to buddy-up with his favorites, and his desire to play on U4Prez and partake the talk show circuit, not really caring how it looked to new candidates trying to get a toehold, while the creator was laughing it up with his handpicked president to be. He’s not going to tell you how this very blog got the attention of his corporate masters, forcing them to jerk his chain back and knocking him down to glorified-moderator status. He’s not going to tell you how every election can now be scrutinized and seen as frauds. He’s not going to tell you how his own pick for President was guilty of manipulating votes, proving every word ever uttered on this blog concerning corruption and the fix. And in what should have been U4Prez’s finest moment, he’s not going to tell you how the general election was tainted by the questionable ethics displayed with new candidate registration. Gurr’s optimistic comments were complete horseshit, and anyone who’s been at U4Prez for any significant amount of time knows it was horseshit.

But we can do something about 2007. We can learn from it and never let it happen again.

The Constitution is the perfect place to ferret out all the problems we’ve seen this past year, and correct them, once and for all. Gurr either won’t do it or can’t do it, so we’re going to do it.

In what is already turning into the biggest multipartisan project in U4Prez history, ideas for a Constitution are being brainstormed by many candidates. Even those who have previously opposed the writing of a Constitution (BigDaddy, Copulate, and Mduminiak, to name three) have contributed their thoughts to it. This is reason to celebrate, because this is a recognition that U4Prez does have problems, and it’s not just a handful of disgruntles candidates complaining. We can’t solve these problems unless we know they exist, and unless we’re honest about them, any solution will be in vain.

President Faustus supports the project, and he has named Olivia as Chairperson of the Constitution Committee. I will be talking more about this on U4Prez, on the U4Prez Constitution Caucus. We’ve already had at least one world-class brainstorming session, and in a little over a week, we should have rough draft #2 up for dissection and criticism and committee rewrites.

2008 does not have to be a repeat of 2007. Virtually every candidate has, at one time or another, expressed dissatisfaction with U4Prez. By working together in the spirit of camaraderie, the candidates can create a means by which the many problems with U4Prez, especially those concerning the moderators and our interface with them, can be resolved, and an infrastructure can be put up to solve any other upcoming crisis. Up until this pivotal point in the history of U4Prez, we were at the mercy of the creator and his moderators, who collectively proved to be inept, corrupt, favoring, negligent, and at times, outright dangerous and not giving a damn. As of this writing, we no longer have to be victimized by their carelessness, their dumb little games, their corruption, and their fuck-ups. As of right now, we no longer can blame the moderators for all the problems we’ve had to deal with. We can empower ourselves. We can ensure the moderators abide by a certain protocol, and if not, we can have a system to alleviate any effects of their negligence.

The election is over. We lived through it, just barely, but we did it. 2007 was a year of figuring out what U4Prez is and what we could do with it. We no longer have anyone but ourselves to blame if 2008 goes the same way. We certainly have the brains and the creativity to make it so; all we need is the will.

Olivia of Arc

Olivia of Arc
My thanks to TheWiz